The Top Ten Video Games I Played in 2016

Last year I wrote that I might not compile this list any more due to life becoming busier and my seeking to enjoy games on their own merit rather than trying to get through as many as possible to write something that probably ten people will read.  Well, life did get busier and I think I did do a better job of enjoying playing through games (and didn’t finish as many), but I still wound up with plenty of fodder for this 5^th-annual tradition.  And so it continues

 

10. Forza Horizon (Xbox 360)

Those who know my tastes probably wouldn’t expect to find a fairly realistic racing game on my list.  Believe me, I’m surprised too.  But Forza Horizon does a great job of making the driving accessible while still fun, thanks to great (adjustable) controls, gorgeous landscapes in an open-world mockup of Colorado, dozens of cool real-world cars, and a thumpin’ soundtrack of licensed rock and electronic music that may have 2012 written all over it but still sounds grteat today.  No matter how easy you have the difficulty set, Horizon doesn’t slow your progress to unlock new events and cars and still makes you feel like a total badass racer, while still being able to sit back and enjoy the drive.

9. South Park: The Stick of Truth (PC)

I watched a fair amount of South Park back in the day but haven’t really since it was one of the few American shows I wanted to watch on German MTV back in 2004.  But man this game.  It pulls no punches and certainly goes to some very uncensored but funny places.  It looks and plays out like a three or four episode arc of the show, but also throws in a good game to boot.  Exploring the town as a fairly open world is a cool experience, and the Paper Mario-inspired battle system is more engaging than those found in many recent JRPGs, though I found it to be fairly easy once I learned to set enemies on fire as much as possible.  Still, this is one of those games that you’d never expect to come together as well as it did, so props to Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and some of my favorite RPG developers at Obsidian for pulling it off.

8. Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call (3DS)

After numerous swings and misses, here is what I would rate as the ultimate Final Fantasy fan service game.  It’s a rhythm game featuring songs from FFs 1 through 14 and several side games such as Final Fantasy Tactics, some of which are more ingrained into my brain than any Top 40 hit from my childhood.  You build a team of characters from all the different games and take them into different game modes that you have tapping, holding, and swiping the touch screen with your stylus in time with the music somewhat similar to Guitar Hero.  You unlock new songs and characters and your characters gain experience and unlock special abilities to give you the edge in tough songs, so there’s always a new reward just around the corner.  I got so hooked and good enough that I cleared all 200+ songs on the hardest difficulty, a completionist feat I rarely do with a game.  If you enjoy rhythm games and have any attachment to the music of Final Fantasy, it’s a no brainer.

 7. Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)

After a 2015 that was filled with Mario, I thought I’d explore another late-era Nintendo  need to own any, mainly because they get damn hard in the later levels.  DKCR retains that tradition but introduces Super Kong to play levels you die on a lot for you, which no, I’m not ashamed about using.  Besides that, I really enjoyed the inventive level design, colorful graphics, and great music that’s a mix of old arrangements and new stuff.  Fairly often nowadays I’m finding myself pulled towards games where I don’t have to worry about figuring out quests in some open world, and can just focus on beating a few levels to make some solid progress.  Donkey Kong Country Returns fits that bill perfectly.

6. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate (3DS)

Having heard about how awesome this series is supposed to be for years, I finally decided to dip my toes in with this iteration, supposedly the most friendly to newcomers (until MH Generations came out in 2016).  At least with MH4U, I’m not really sure what all the fuss about complexity is about.  It’s actually fairly straightforward at least in comparison to many other games of its ilk.  You take quests to go hunt big monsters that are drawn out boss battles; in between you kill smaller creatures and gather materials to craft better equipment and items that will help you take down the big nasties.  That’s about it.  Combat is action-heavy and you can freely switch between more than a dozen weapons that each have their own gameplay style and do take some practice (they are basically like classes in other games).  Battles are long and require patience, but man, it is a great feeling every time one of the monsters goes down to your blade, or hammer, or bowgun.  It also looks great on the small 3DS screen.  I put over 40 hours into MH4U before mostly moving on to other things (and the difficulty ramping up quite a bit), but I’m sure I’ll be back and wish I had others to play it with, as I’m sure multiplayer is a real blast.  Totally enjoyable solo as well, though.

 

 

5. Puppeteer (PS3)

Another 2D platformer, Puppeteer is a game that consistently surprised and impressed me.  My wife and I played through this entirely together, with me controlling the hero Kutaro and her controlling his helping spirits, and we had a great time.  Puppeteer easily wins best art design of the year, as it is entirely presented as a puppet marionette play with the scenes and stages constantly changing in front of you.  The designers through every setting they can think of at you as you guide Kutaro on his journey, from a pirate ship to a Mexican village to the moon.  Gameplay involves unique cloth-based mechanics as Kutaro uses his magical scissors to climb, traverse, and slice up enemies.  For a game localized from Japan, the dialogue is snappy and performed well, including a sometimes snarky narrator.  Puppeteer is just a great, unique game I’d highly recommend to anyone looking for a family-friendly experience to share with their partner or kids.

4. Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13 (PS3)

Popular opinion on the FF13 trilogy of games, which I’ve now completed, is deservedly divided.  This one is certainly…different, which I think is why I ended up liking it the most of all three.   It’s a lot less linear and a lot more ugly than the first two games, at times looking like a PS2 game, though that’s clearly because the developers are stretching this game engine in ways it was never intended to be.  As the name suggests, Lightning is back and tasked with saving as many souls as possible before the world ends in a week (to get more into the story than this would require a novella).  She does this by travelling through four huge open world areas and completing many different quests both on the side and while interacting with major story characters from the previous games.  The player has almost total freedom in how and what order to explore and complete the quests, with more time allotted to Lightning the better she does in saving souls.  The battle system is thankfully revamped as well, being much more action-oriented and requiring more reaction than pressing X a lot and occasionally switching paradigms.  I’m certainly glad Square dared to be different with this last entry in the FF13 world, as it resulted in a unique game that found its way this high on my list.

3. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap (GBA)

Hey, listen!  It’s another classic overhead-style Zelda game that I like more than any of the 3D iterations.  Did you like Link to the Past?  Well then, you’ll like this.  Very similar with the added gameplay twist of being able to shrink to microscopic size to work your way through certain areas.  Other than that, it’s just classic Zelda exploration and dungeon-crawling with just that right mix of combat and challenging-but-not-frustrating puzzle solving.  Really there’s not much else to say.  If you like classic Zelda, you know what you’re getting, so go play it.

2. Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen (PS3)

What if a Japanese developer made a 3^rd-person party-oriented Skyrim?  That’s basicallwhat you’re getting with Dragon’s Dogma-a huge fantasy open world to explore with lots of quests and creatures to fight.  Combat really ramps up in intensity when you encounter huge foes that you can actually climb on to attack – crawling up a cyclops to stab it in the eye to bring it down was definitely one of my gaming highlights of the year, though enemies don’t scale in difficulty so eventually those cyclopses become rudimentary foes.  The pawn party system is unique, in they they actually help you out in a fight more than any characters you don’t have any control over that I’ve ever seen and you can even send your pawns on adventures with other players, from which they can gain knowledge that they’ll use to help you.  I also appreciate that, like Monster Hunter, you are free to change classes at any time which lets you explore every play style in the same playthrough (assassin ftw).  I can see what the hype coming from this game’s hardcore fanbase was about, though as with MH, it also wasn’t as difficult as some made it out to be.  Just a fun, open-world experience with some nifty and different mechanics.

1. Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. (3DS)

At times I feel like this game’s biggest advocate, though I’m sure that’s not true in the vast world of the Internet.  Given that I wrote an entire article defending it, I don’t see how I had any choice in making it my game of the year.  Read that article for the full details, but suffice to say this action/strategy hybrid dripping with steampunk goodness and famous characters from American literature got its hooks in me and wouldn't let go.  And then there's that awesome, awesome soundtrack where metal, industrial and orchestral meet in head-bangin' perfection.  Join the task force and help Abe Lincoln ride a giant mech and punch killer aliens in their stupid face.

Thoughts Upon the Electoral College Vote

With today's certification of November's presidential election results by the Electoral College, it is official that come January 20, 2017 America will be living under the presidency of Donald Trump.  The Constitution's framers created the College partially to serve as a last bulwark against the people electing someone spectacularly unfit to serve as President.  This was, of course, before the rise and entrenchment of political parties that quickly came to define how everything operates in American politics.  And while everything that has happened and been revealed since the election suggests that if there were ever a time the College should go against the electoral vote results (but not against a majority of Americans who do not want Trump as President), it is now, but there was simply never any chance the Republican electors would put their country before the chance to install their glorious leader.  I would argue that the Electoral College should be tossed into the trash, but at this point it likely doesn't matter anyway.  There will be a presidential election in 2020, but it will probably be about as "legitimate" as Russia's.

We are now a minority-ruled country.  Whatever happens in the next four years, I will take some small amount of hope in knowing that a majority of Americans did not vote for it.  Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by almost 3 million.  Democrats won the Senate popular vote as well.  They lost the House popular vote but have won it in previous elections while still retaining minority status (2012).  But thanks to the Electoral College, gerrymandering, and the concentration of Democratic voters in urban areas, Republicans will control the White House, Congress, and the Supreme Court (due to Senate Republicans deciding that Obama only counts as 7/8ths of a President).  They also only need to control one more set of state legislatures before they can pass Constitutional amendments with abandon.  In other words, whatever happens in the next four years, it's on them.  They will, of course, try to blame everything bad on Obama and/or those Senate Democrats brave enough to stand up in opposition.  So I'd advise you to take stock of where the country is now, December 2016.  Our soldiers aren't dying by the hundreds or thousands in some pointless war.  Violent crime is at its lowest point in decades, despite what Trump will tell you.  The economy is faring relatively well though could certainly be better especially with regards to rising income inequality (which I'm sure will be a top priority of the Trump administration...).  It's certainly leagues better than the economy on the brink of collapse that Obama was handed.  This is the status quo by which the last 8 years should be judged, as well as whatever comes next.

I will never forgive Republican politicians for their support of Trump.  Do we need to remember what they accepted to win control of government?  An astoundingly incompetent candidate who trashed our military, our intelligence agencies, and our decades-long alliances that people served and died to build and protect; mocked the disabled; accused a GOP rival's father of helping to kill JFK, promised startlingly anti-American, authoritarian solutions to often overblown problems that played on peoples' hate and fear of the "other;" and openly admitted to being a sexual predator.  And that was all before the election.  Since then there has been the appointment of a Cabinet filled with the worst-suited people in America for basically every position, outright corruption and conflict-of-interest stories that would get a Democratic President impeached on January 21, the entrenchment and acceptance of a new facts-free reality in which truth and science don't matter against what FreedomEagle.Facebook tells you is the REAL STORY, and the confirmation that a hostile government intervened in our democratic process to elect Trump (had they done this to elect a Democrat during a GOP administration the bombs would already be dropping on Moscow and the candidate would be death row for treason).  None of that was enough for the GOP and its electors to repudiate Trump.  What did they get for their part in this devil's bargain?  The opportunity to take away health insurance from tens of millions, give a bunch more money to rich people, and ensure that people roughly my age and younger will have to work until at least 75 before we have a chance to get a pittance of Social Security and Medicare we will have paid into for fifty years.  How noble of them.

That's not to let Democratic leaders off the hook either.  Incoming Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer already seems ready to strike some deals with Trump.  President Obama, displaying the obliviousness that has been my biggest frustration with him, is peddling the patently ridiculous notion that Trump will undergo a "sobering process" after becoming President and speaks of our values carrying us through, seemingly still ignorant of how Republicans have treated him for 8 years and the fact the Trump rose to political prominence by leading the damn birther movement against him!  Or Bernie Sanders is still out there talking about free college and living wages as if the next four years aren't actually going to be a struggle to maintain every inch of progress we've made since the Great Depression, if not the Civil War.  It's pretty telling when Evan MacMullin, a conservative who I probably disagree with on 90% of policy issues, has emerged as one of the strongest voices in opposition to Trump.

These coming years American democracy, or what's left of it, will be put to the test perhaps like no other time besides the Civil War.  I hope that our media will learn to do its job rather than normalize Trump (as they are already doing), and spin controversial stories into "both sides are just as bad" false narratives, which they have done for decades and enabled Trump and his Russian allies to play them like a fiddle.  I hope that those who supported Trump will come to realize they have been sold a bill of goods, as should be painfully obvious simply by what he has done since the election.  To be honest, I am not very optimistic about these things right now.  Truly dark days lie ahead for our country.  Be strong, be vigilant, take care of yourself and those around you, and get to know people who have vastly different life experiences than you. We will soon be under the rule of the most authoritarian government in American history, but what comes after will be up to us.

My Election Closer: Don't Validate Hatred

Look, I get it.  You're tired of this damn election.  We all are.  You don't want to read another long screed about one candidate or the other.  So I'm going to refrain from talking about the candidates themselves that much, though I suppose a little of that is inevitable.  As I have a busy life, I'm also not going take the time to carefully cite everything in here, though trust me, it's all easily available  with Google and a few keystrokes.  Instead, I want to focus on the brand of hatred that has already been normalized in this election.  That itself is bad enough, but it cannot be allowed to be vindicated with the ascension of Donald Trump to the Presidency.  Doing so would take America down a dark path that I'm not sure it can survive intact.

Now, of course I’m not speaking of all Trump voters here.  Some are Republicans who will vote Republican because they always do and don’t give it much thought.  Others are wealthy folks who will vote for their tax cuts and deregulation and don’t care about anything else.  But those are not the groups that have fueled Trump’s rise.  Make no mistake, Trump himself is not the cause of this disease.  He is the culmination.  It has long simmered below the surface of public discourse in the U.S. and, to be sure, many other countries.  It has its roots in anti-immigrant nativism, in know-nothing anti-intellectualism, and in the racist spite of the Old South still bitter about the Civil War and desegregation (though it's by no means limited to Dixie).  For many years, this hatred mainly expressed itself politically through the Democratic Party in the South due to the simple fact that their archenemy, Abe Lincoln, was a Republican.  That began to change in the 1960s after LBJ supported civil rights and Republicans like Nixon and Reagan actively courted Southerners feeling disenfranchised by the newfound liberal dominance within the national Democrats.  (I've written about this before.)  Today the transition is complete, and this voting bloc is entirely within the Republican Party.  Now, your "reasonable" Republicans like Paul Ryan, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, and the like desperately don't want to talk about this, even though they have relied on these votes for electoral success for 30 years.  The mainstream media has done them the huge favor of largely ignoring it as well.  But not only has Trump done us the favor of bringing the hatred to the forefront, by yelling at 100 decibels what was previously only whispered or spoken in code, he has also empowered these forces to a level that they have not seen since at least the civil rights turbulence of the late 60s.  But even then they never enjoyed complete control over all three branches of government like they most likely would under a Trump presidency.  We simply cannot allow that to happen.  This hatred must be squashed.

What do I mean by this hatred?  Basically, it boils down to hating anything that does not fit within a narrow worldview of white, male, heterosexual, and (usually) Protestant Christian dominance.  Watch some videos of Trump supporters at his rallies.  Do they want to have a thorough discussion of the intricacies of immigration policy?  No, they want the damn beaners to speak English or send them back to Mexico.  Will they listen to any African-American activist, no matter how articulate, discuss police brutality?  No, they're all thugs that deserve what they get.  Are they interested in learning more about Islam?  No, they're terrorist camel jockeys that better not show up in my neighborhood.  Will they accept a thorough investigation of Hillary Clinton that exonerates her of any intentional wrongdoing?  Nope, the system's rigged, Trump That Bitch, lock her up without a trial, hang her for a traitor.  Perhaps the most surprising in terms of newfound relevance is anti-Semitism - when Trump speaks of an international system rigged by bankers and the media, he is sending the loudest of anti-Semitic dog whistles, and his followers respond by yelling "Jew-S-A!" at the present media.  It all boils down to hatred of the other, of that which they feel does not belong in "their" America.  When they yell that they want to "make America great again," they want to return to an era of cultural dominance where other perspectives were relatively powerless.  Trump gives them that dominance.  He makes them feel like winners.  He says "yes, you can take your country back from the others" - whatever others they believe to have wronged them.  They don't want to hear that America is already great, because it stopped being great when others stopped shutting up.

Personally I am fortunate that I live in a diverse city in New Mexico where such feelings, if present, are kept under wraps and people of different stripes generally seem to mix well with each other.  I wanted to believe that the hatred and bitterness seized upon by Trump was overblown, that it couldn’t possibly be such a powerful force in American politics in the 21^st century.  Certain events and trends I’ve noticed have soured this outlook.  First, in 2015 I made a quick trip to Kansas with my then-girlfriend, now wife Maria.  In less than 48 hours, 3 incidents really made me sad to witness the political culture consuming my home state.  First was spying a gigantic Confederate flag (as in, on a flagpole) in someone’s yard along the highway in Lacrosse.  Now, if you don’t know your history, not only was Kansas a free state, it was founded by abolitionists who fought a bloody conflict with pro-slavery settlers to make it that way in the years before the Civil War (look up Bleeding Kansas).  Kansans have a lot to be proud of in their free-state heritage – I know I always have been.  Granted, I don’t know the ancestry of whoever lived in that house, but to see the flag of treason flying above the High Plains was a depressing sight that really threw into doubt the notion that “it’s about Southern heritage.”  In a restaurant in another town I overheard an older man loudly proclaim “that black son of a bitch isn’t my President.”  Entitled to his opinion of course, but I guess I’m supposed to compliment him for only saying “black.”  Worst was another incident where I don’t want to get into all the details but suffice to say it involved disparaging remarks about Hispanics being made to me with my (light-skinned) Mexican-American girlfriend standing next to me.

Remember, 3 incidents in under 2 days over a year ago and I sure wasn’t looking for them.  I’m sure the feelings brought about by the rise of Trump have only made it worse – and we’re starting to see evidence of that – 3 apparent Trump supporters were arrested for plotting to blow up an immigrant-dominated housing complex in Garden City, KS; a black church was burned and tagged with pro-Trump graffiti in South Carolina; the KKK and other white supremacist groups are supposedly organizing to intimidate voters on Election Day, and a Trump-supporting dude with a beef against law enforcement shot two cops in Iowa (imagine the reaction from Trumpers had it been a black guy).  Yes, I know other groups commit violence too.  But this is from the “law and order” crowd specifically going after (except maybe in the cop case) people that Trump and his ilk have identified as targets, and have done nothing to dampen down the flames of hatred – if anything, they have added fuel to the fire.  They all cheer when protesters are beat up and/or kicked out of Trump rallies.  They are out for blood.  I hope none of it is spilled by anyone on Election Day or the aftermath.  I fear otherwise.

The other area where I’ve really noticed this hatred taking hold is online, where the cult of personality solidifying around Trump and his ideals is truly a depressing sight to behold.  And lest you think this essay is mainly a screed against older folks, this is where I see a staggeringly large number of young people (my age or younger) fall in line behind The Donald.  While there is a disturbing well of anti-Semitism (google images of Pepe the Frog), Islamophobia, homophobia, and other prejudices in this crowd, they are almost all men and their feelings of bitterness seem mainly directed towards women, which is where I want to focus.  Here is where I say “there but for the grace of God go I.”  A lot of them are nerdy types who really, really should know better than to jump on the bandwagon with the greatest bully in modern American history.  They are the “nice guy” types who feel that women owe them their affections because they aren’t total jerks to them, at least to their face.  While I understand the feelings of resentment that can come by seeing women you are attracted to going out with d-bags, these fellas have let those emotions take total control over their perception and treatment of women.  “If she doesn’t like me she’s a total bitch.”  While at first not overtly political and focusing on “controversies” like GamerGate and the idea of an all-woman Ghostbusters ruining their childhood, Donald Trump gave them a rallying point.  He is their hero.  If George W. Bush was the guy people wanted to have a beer with, Trump is the man they all want to be.  He takes what he wants because he has the money, power, and fame to do it – and that’s especially true with regards to women.  When the “grab them by the pussy” tape surfaced, they loved him all the more for it.  The only problem was that he gave a half-assed apology for what they view as the correct way to live a manly life.  It was a complete vindication of their way of thinking.  What kind of message do we send to the women in our lives if we validate it on November 8?


The last disturbing trend among Trump followers I want to highlight is authoritarianism.  That cult of personality I mentioned?  Some of his diehards refer to him as “God Emperor” online.  I wish I were joking.  They worship him in exactly the way they have been accusing Democrats of worshiping Obama for eight years.  He can do no wrong, he doesn’t need to apologize or make excuses or take responsibility because everything said against him is a lie or rigged against him.  I haven’t seen such slavish devotion to a politician in my lifetime and it is scary.  But I’m not surprised.  I’ve studied authoritarians in my academic career, and Trump's followers are a perfect match  They want a strong leader who “tells it like it is” meaning “tells us what we want to hear and sticks it to everyone else.”  He must be of them and promise to make the “others” pay for how they have been wronged, and appear to have the gumption to follow through on it.  Trump fits the bill perfectly – name any other politician who could get away with “I alone can fix your problems” in America and not be laughed into obscurity.  If Trump is elected, these people will follow him to the gates of oblivion.  Remember how the Tea Party – which is now the Trump Party - was supposed to be so concerned about government deficits?  Trump could explode the national debt in his first year (which his tax and economic policies strongly suggest will happen) and they Will. Not. Care.  American soldiers dying on the streets of Aleppo or Tehran?  No biggie.  We’re at the point where I’m pretty sure President Trump could cancel the 2020 election and the response from his crowd would be “HAHA, the God-Emperor got another one over on you stupid libtards.”  This is not America.  It’s not how we live, it’s not how we show respect, it’s not how we worship, it’s not how we govern.  Why the hell should I bother getting a doctorate degree in Public Administration when public policy is decided by “who does President Trump declare that we should screw over today?”  It goes hand-in-hand with the anti-science, anti-intellectualism that fuels the undying faith in a leader who can do no wrong.  I fear for the future of the country if those lining up under the authority of He. Trump are allowed to lead the way.

But hey, at least we got to the bottom of Hillary's emails!

So is this where I plead for you to vote for Hillary?  No (unless you’re a progressive and having doubts, in which case get off your purity high horse and get it done – then I don’t care how much you yell about the corporatist warmonger for four years).  I’m proudly going to cast my vote for her.  But I understand that for some people that’s a bridge too far.  So I have a smaller “ask,” as we say in government.  Just don’t vote for Trump.  Don’t vote for hate, fear, and the blinding obedience of authoritarianism.  Don’t enable the forces I’ve detailed in this essay.  Vote for Johnson, or Weld (my 2^nd favorite candidate!), or McMullin, or write in your favorite Republican (even I wouldn’t vote for Jill Stein).  Leave the presidential choice blank.  I won’t even ask you not to vote for downballot Republicans you like – if it makes you sleep better, send Hillary a Republican Congress that will basically guarantee she doesn’t accomplish anything (though this Supreme Court business is a bit much).  Just don’t vote for Trump.  No matter where you live.  Don’t vote for the guy that the KKK and every other white supremacist organization in the country has enthusiastically endorsed.  The fewer votes Trump gets, the less powerful he and his followers will be after the election.  This will give the Republican Party a better chance to excise this cancer from its soul and become the responsible counterweight to the Democrats that even I, as a progressive, deeply want.  The dark forces of hate and fear have long been present in American politics, bouncing from one movement to another, but the forces of reason and respect have always won the day and carried us forward.  Together, let’s banish the hatred once and for all and work to build a brighter future for every American.          

#ImWithHer

She’s not a perfect candidate. But neither is she the caricature painted by her critics on both the left and right. She’s neither a corporatist warmonger nor a shrieking socialist harpy. The answer, as usual with politics, lies somewhere in the muddy waters of the middle. I do know that she is incredibly experienced, capable, and fights for progressive causes that I mostly align with. She has withstood a quarter century of attacks, often unfounded, always responding with class and taking responsibility for mistakes. I’d rather have a president who admits and learns from mistakes than one who is incapable of ever taking responsibility for anything. She’s not flashy. She doesn’t orate as well as Bill or Barack. She is, however, a dedicated public servant who believes in using responsible government actions to help people. In these ways, she’s not so different than myself. This week her nomination capped a convention of hope, optimism, diversity, and real patriotism – not the shallow, empty nationalism of a narrow-minded movement in its dying days.

About that other side? Older acquaintances know that I used to identify as a Republican. I left the party for many reasons during the Bush era, and after the despicable display in Cleveland last week, I’ve never been so glad I did. The GOP has nominated a TV celebrity who busted into politics riding a conspiracy theory and who has harnessed dark forces of nativism, fear, and paranoia to create a force that is truly scary and a genuine threat to our way of government. He and the party he now leads have decided to win through division, scapegoating, hate, and unyielding authority. Only he can solve your problems. Only he can make those “other” people, who have turned America into some kind of nightmarish hellhole that I’ve surely never observed, pay for whatever it is they did to you. These are not the values of respect, individual worth, dignity of all persons, optimism, and the greatness of America that I learned growing up on the plains of Kansas AS A REPUBLICAN. These are the tenets of unbridled authoritarianism without conscience, that which relies on fear to survive and prosper, for only Dear Leader can protect you from the bad people. This is not our future, this is a vain attempt to return us to some mythical past that never actually existed and will only bring suffering as a result. This ideology and its standard-bearer must be utterly destroyed.

And yes, I have a personal bias against Donald Trump. I was recently welcomed into a wonderful Mexican-American family. They have lived here for decades, work hard, contribute to the community, and have a sense of family much stronger than I’ve seen in many Anglo families. But, in large part due to the nativism that Trump and his ilk have fostered, I know that none of that would matter if they were overheard speaking Spanish on the streets of a small prairie town. They would be dirty Mexicans who should speak English or get ready to be booted over Dear Leader’s glorious wall. They would not be able to be judged on their own individual merits but rather would be forced to battle against a set of preconceived notions that have been fed to the masses by Trump and right-wing media. Only if they passed that hurdle could they possibly be perceived as “some of the good ones.” That is categorically unfair and I will not have my in-laws treated that way. They certainly don’t treat this awkward gringo like that. It is insufficient excuse-peddling to say “Trump just wants to secure the border” or some such; immigration reform is a policy issue that could be debated without reference to Mexican rapists or cantaloupe-calved drug mules. But that’s not what Donald Trump and his allies want, is it? They want to divide and conquer, and scapegoat various “other” groups in their quest for authoritarian power. This is America. Through the force of our ideals, arms, and allies, we threw such ideologies onto the ash heap of history in the last century. Let’s not see it come to fruition here.

What about third parties? While I appreciate a lot of Libertarian positions and I’d never turn down having a beer with Ron Swanson, I don’t share their apparent belief that government has a monopoly on the abuse of power. Blame it on my career in public service, but I’m more of a Leslie Knope (if you don’t get these references, you should watch Parks and Recreation). I’m not a Green either, as certain elements of the far left are just as anti-science or anti-pragmatist as the far right (and I’d fail their purity tests at every turn). While I certainly believe America has room for more than two major parties, that’s not how our system is currently set up, and there is zero question which of the two candidates who could win is better suited for the job.

It’s common to rail about “the most important election EVAR” every four years, but this time it’s true – at least in my lifetime. This isn’t an ordinary presidential election where yes, I would probably vote for the Democrat but wouldn’t lose too much sleep if the Republican won. I indirectly work for a Republican governor, after all (one that Trump trashed and lied about). It’s not Susana Martinez or John Kasich on the ballot, though. It’s someone who espouses empty-headed inflammatory rhetoric that could someday – even if he loses – bring real harm to people I care about. It’s someone who is the childish embodiment of every bully I ever encountered in school. It’s someone who, having just turned 35, I’m now officially more qualified to be President than. This election pits perhaps the most qualified candidate for the presidency ever against a raging, narcissistic, know-nothing, xenophobic buffoon. That’s not even a contest. In November I will proudly cast my vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton.

In Defense of Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.

While I've been playing video games as a hobby for nearly 30 years, rarely does a game come along that I feel the need to champion in the face of underappreciation, unawareness, and (admittedly sometimes deserved) criticism.  However, I can't stop thinking about Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. (which I'm going to abbreviate to CNS from here on, damn those periods) and how much I like it, so here I am to take up its banner.



CNS is a Nintendo 3DS strategy game developed by Intelligent Systems, most known for the venerable Fire Emblem and Advance Wars strategy series of games, not to mention the Paper Mario RPGs (whose entries have been hit-or-miss).  The eponymous task force is an elite team of steampunk-outfitted agents who comprise a greatest-hits list of 19th century American literature.  They've been brought together by Abraham Lincoln, who secretly survived the attempt on his life and went on to found S.T.E.A.M. (Strike Team Eliminating the Alien Menace) to wipe invading alien scum from the face of the earth.  Cast highlights include Henry Fleming from the Red Badge of Courage, John Henry, Tom Sawyer, Queequeg from Moby Dick, and all four main characters from The Wizard of Oz.  It's quite an eclectic bunch and it's great to see characters you'd never expect to see in a video game thrown together in this crazy situation.  No DudeBro McBiceps here.

Henry engages an alien.

Gameplay-wise, CNS plays out like a cross between the recent X-COM reboot and Valkryia Chronicles.  You'll pick up to four characters to take on each mission, each of which has a unique main weapon, swappable subweapon, and swappable steam tanks depending on their size.  Missions take place on a 3D map grid in which you directly control characters from a behind-the-back view.  Each character has a steam gauge that represents their action points for that turn, which they use to both move and fire weapons.  Movement is grid-based, and gives you the awesome benefit of refilling your steam gauge if you backtrack, which gives you an opportunity to scout an area and plan out strategy before committing to an action (steam used for movement is eaten up permanently once you attack or get attacked).  Weapons take between 1-4 steam to use and come in a variety of forms, from John Henry's grenade launcher to Queequeq's walking penguin bombs to a deadly sniper rifle wielded by The Fox (apparently a copyright-friendly nod to Zorro).  Aiming is done manually so it does require a bit of skill and patience to line up good shots with certain weapons; it's not done for you like in, say, Fire Emblem).  Any steam you don't use in a turn carries over to the next along with a certain refill rate depending on your steam boiler.  Leave sufficient steam in your tank at turn's end and you'll be able to do overwatch attacks during the enemy's turn if they come into your sight (they can also do this to you).  Each character also has a unique supermove they can use once per map and a unique passive skill.  So generally on your turn you freely switch between characters, scouting and attacking when possible while trying to avoid overwatch attacks.  When all characters have used up their steam or you're satisifed with how you've set them up, you end your turn and the aliens get a chance to move and attack.  There are a couple dozen species of aliens to exterminate, each with different abilities and glowing weak points that you should target if at all possible.  Missions have different objectives, such as reaching a certain goal space, defeating all enemies, or taking down a boss.

That's basically it.  But before I get to more specifics about why I enjoy CNS so much, let me address the elephant in the room, the main reason why the game received a healthy amount of criticism: the alien turn speed.  In the original version of the game, it's my understanding (as I never played it) that the alien turns could be excruciatingly long, up to a minute or more of you watching them move around and attack while you do nothing.  This was especially pronounced on the original 3DS model; I have the "New" 3DS which has a faster processor (and also a "nub" for moving the camera which helps with aiming).  I understand this is a legitimate critique and had I played the game this way I most likely would've been frustrated as well.  However, Nintendo released a patch for CNS that adds a fast-forward button that dramatically speeds up enemy turns.  With it on (and I never have it off), alien turns never take any longer than the "Enemy Activity" phase in X-COM - I'd say 20 seconds at most.  It's completely tolerable, and also required viewing to help you figure out where enemies are lurking.

Now, you can make the argument that the patch should not have been necessary, and that everyone - old or new 3DS - should be able to have the ideal playing experience.  That's not without merit.  But needing patches or certain hardware to have the best experience is hardly unique to video gaming - PC gamers have been dealing with this for decades.  It's just not something we're used to from Nintendo, where we expect plug-and-play as the standard.  And while the difference in processing power between 3DS models is a bummer, perhaps we should be praising Nintendo for issuing a post-release patch that addresses a common complaint about a game - something the stalwart company hardly ever does.  In short, I did have the ideal Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. playing experience, and while I understand the shortcomings of prior versions, I'm going to judge the game accordingly - this seems only fair to me.

Enemy turns taking too long wasn't the only critique lobbed at CNS, however.  Let's address a few others:

The full cast, including four Fire Emblem guest characters.

"The story isn't great / the characters are underutilized." - (spoilers ahead) I'll be the first to admit the overarching plot in CNS is nothing spectacular; this isn't a game that'll leave you gaping at unexpected twists and turns.  However, the setting in this original IP (not another derivative sequel) is fantastic, crammed with all the pulpy steampunk goodness you could want.  Over the course of the game, you'll rescue Queen Victoria from Buckingham Palace, pay a visit to alien-infested Miskatonic University, race the aliens to recover the Necronomicon from a vault underneath the White House, liberate occupied Oz, and engage in kaiju-style battles as Lincoln piloting a giant steampunk mech.  What more could I want from the story in a strategy game?  It's honestly more memorable than any of the generic fantasy-intrigue plots of Fire Emblem games.  It's presented well, through motion comics in a cel-shaded art style.  Some of the level designs can be a little bland (the White House vault especially just looks like Generic Warehouse #3), but others are great, such as when you work your way up the slope of a canyon or through the winding streets of the Emerald City.  And while the characters don't exactly have amazing story arcs where they learn deep truths about themselves, I'm really OK with that.  This is a game about literary heroes and Abe Fricking Lincoln teaming up to kick some alien ass.  I don't really care to listen to John Henry brood about his hard life.  If I wanna know more about their backgrounds, I'll read their stories.  Moreover, the "romance" options of recent Fire Emblem games wouldn't really work here, as it'd be pretty creepy to have Henry Fleming hook up with Dorothy Gale.  (Side note - the voice samples are serviceable but occasionally veer too close to ethnic stereotypes - Queequeq in particular sounds like a weird mashup of the Lone Ranger's Tanto and Slowpoke Rodriguez.)

"You can't zoom out to see the whole map." - The behind-the-back perspective in CNS limits your field of view, and I understand that this can be frustrating for those wanting to get the bigger picture.  However, this is just how the game is balanced, and it provides an experience different from Fire Emblem or X-COM.  Just as Fire Emblem would be too hard if you couldn't look at the whole battlefield, CNS would be far too easy if you could.  While not exactly a stealth game, careful movement and positioning to spot enemies before they spot you is key to good play in CNS.  I find that highly tense and rewarding, and the perspective adds a sense of exploration that other strategy games lack.  It really puts you in the middle of the action rather than the god-like commander of other series.  Certain levels, like the aforementioned canyon climb, would lose all their flavor.  Moreover, there are other aids to help you out that aren't present in other games, like health pickups and mid-battle hard save and rejuvenation points.  Nor is there permadeath in CNS; the game has its own ways to be tense without that particular sword of Damocles constantly hanging over you.

"It's impossible to hit flying enemies."  - Because aiming is manual in CNS and enemies do move a little bit while idle, it can be hard to line up good shots at weak points.  This is especially true with small flying enemies, who don't have much health but hover up and down a bit and (at first glance) are seemingly impossible to hit.  They certainly flummoxed me the first time I ran into them, and I just worked around them (it wasn't required to kill them).  Then I discovered that you can indeed target them with weapons like Henry's Eagle Rifle and especially The Fox's sniper rifle - and then they are barely a problem.  It just takes a little patience, timing, and carefulness - not typical in a strategy game, but just requires shifting one's mind-space a bit.

"Enemy overwatch attacks are the worst." - I'm not sure if I heard this elsewhere or if it comes directly from me.  I'll admit getting hit by overwatch attacks is probably the most frustrating part of CNS.  Sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere, they eat up movement steam, sometimes stun you (ending that character's turn), and enemies seem to be able to repeat them if you keep moving into their line of sight, unlike your characters which are limited by their steam reserve for overwatch attacks.  They are, frankly, a major pain and can seem unfair.  But I've learned to deal with them as probably the number one threat to avoid in CNS.  This entails being extremely cautious with your movement and relying on your own overwatch attacks as much as possible, hoping enemies come to you.  In a way, it's similar to getting a character overexposed to attacks in Fire Emblem - if this happens, you done screwed up.  They're frustrating, but I've learned to deal with them.

With those complaints addressed, let me highlight a couple other aspects of Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. that I enjoy.  The biggest of these, which I've been sandbagging on till now, is the bangin' soundtrack.  As someone who, as a kid, would hold a tape recorder up to a TV speaker to record video game soundtracks, CNS has overall my favorite, most memorable game soundtrack in years, probably since the likes of Persona 4 or The World Ends With You.  No generic orchestral sounds here - metal, industrial, and even a little dubstep at times mix to blow out your ears and get your blood pumpin'.  The best feature is that in many levels the soundtrack builds in intensity as you come into contact with enemies, from low-key ambience while you're sneaking around to all-out hard guitar riffs when you're all up in enemies' grills.  To hear what I mean, listen to my favorite trio of songs from the game: Steam, Steel, Strangers I, II, and III (the absolute best).  Check out some other tracks while you're there.

Another aspect of CNS I came to appreciate is that there's no grinding of characters.  When they join your squad they are generally as powerful as they're ever going to be.  You unlock subweapons by collecting medals (earned by defeating enemies or scattered around levels) and new boilers by snagging the three gears stashed on each map.  That's it.  This means you never have to worry about not being strong enough to tackle a map or leaving underleveled characters behind.  You can always change your strategy by swapping in any of the characters available to you.  Certain characters are definitely more useful on certain maps, but there's generally no magic combination - you might think "Tin Man would've been really great on this map, but I managed without him."  The gears are not super difficult to find but can be easy to miss the first time as you're focused on surviving.  I enjoy the gameplay so much that I've replayed every map to find all the gears, which also helps in accumulating medals for subweapons.  I definitely plan to collect all 96 gears in the game, and I am hardly ever such a completionist - a true testament to how much I enjoy Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.

Will you answer Abe's call?

CNS is not a perfect game, but my enjoyment of it has run so counter to its underappreciation that I felt the need to pen this lengthy diatribe singing its praises.  The good news is that due to its lackluster reception it's one of the rare Nintendo-published games that's actually come down in prices; new copies are always under $20 on Amazon.  If I've at all intrigued you, I advise you to pick it up, as this daring attempt at a new series is probably all we'll ever see - CNS didn't do well in Japan either.  I'd love to see a sequel where Queen Victoria basically assembles the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, with giants of European literature such as Sherlock and Watson, Captain Nemo, and Viktor Frankenstein, with the third game being the inevitable crossover.  Unfortunately that will never happen.  So I salute Intelligent Systems for producing one of the most unique and memorable games I've played in a while, a shining star that should've received more attention than it did.  As Queen Ozma would say, "Godspeed, agents."